Comments on: Retired Early, In Debt, No Job: When the American Dream becomes a Nightmare

By: Best of January 2010 | Credit Guy

Best of January 2010 | Credit Guy — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 16:43:03 +0000

[...] Retired Early, In Debt, No Job: When The American Dream Becomes a Nightmare / WiseGeek: Before deciding on retirement, you need to be 100% certain that you have everything you need now, tomorrow and forever. If there is even a shred of doubt in your mind, get back to work. [...]

By: Best of January 2010 – The Dough Roller

Best of January 2010 – The Dough Roller — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 12:32:30 +0000

[...] for making my weaknesses less of an issue. I don’t like being vulnerable and neither should you.Retired Early, In Debt, No Job: When The American Dream Becomes a Nightmare / WiseGeek: Before deciding on retirement, you need to be 100% certain that you have everything you [...]

By: paul

paul — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 15:57:22 +0000

Very well said Tracy and thanks so much for sharing your own experiences.

By: Tracy

Tracy — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 15:46:04 +0000

Wow, what a letter. Paul, you gave great advice. I can relate to some of Sylvia’s pain, as over investment in real estate is partly what drove me into the abyss when the downturn rolled over us. I made the mistake of trying to tread water and hang on to property we couldn’t afford and this just made things much worse. My marriage fell apart in the midst of the chaos and the problem there was, in retrospect, not enough communication and the inability to get on the same team. Finding the center of a disagreement usually means each party has to decide what they can live with over what they want, as these two answers are usually a bit different.
It’s painful to let go of things you’ve built and struggled for, but it’s far worse to let a stranglehold on material things (this includes houses) destroy a loving relationship. Your relationships are all that really matter. The material things will be sorted out over time and with the help of good resources like the ones others have recommended here.

By: Carnival Of Debt Reduction - It's Working Edition! « Eliminate The Muda!

Carnival Of Debt Reduction - It's Working Edition! « Eliminate The Muda! — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 11:33:23 +0000

[...] Paul, the FiscalGeek and pioneer of the homemade air conditioner shares a reader’s story about Retired Early, In Debt, No Job: When the American Dream Becomes a Nightmare! [...]

By: LeanLifeCoach

LeanLifeCoach — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 01:05:00 +0000

Paul – I think you have given the best advice possible. Unfortunately Sylvia’s family was hit by the perfect storm, a financial tsunami. The only other avenue I might consider if I were in their shoes is explore a partnership with the children. If the assets theoretically will pay off one day, could family help them survive the turmoil until brighter days? It’s not an easy avenue but I’d like to think that this is something my kids would do for me if they were capable.
.-= LeanLifeCoach´s last blog ..Good Debt, Bad Debt”¦ All Debt Sucks =-.

By: Best of the Rest: Contest Edition

Best of the Rest: Contest Edition — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 14:02:44 +0000

[...] Fiscal Geek answers a reader question about the American Dream becoming a Nightmare. [...]

By: paul

paul — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 20:49:04 +0000

Thanks for your input folks much appreciated.

By: Kevin@OutOfYourRut

Kevin@OutOfYourRut — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 20:03:30 +0000

Wow, this IS heartbreaking, especially since they’re only two years away from social security. I personally think that when things deteriorate to this level, the only thing that will turn the situation around is radical action. They can’t afford to sit and wait for things to get better, because we don’t know how long that will take or if it will ever happen at all.

The first thing is to get out from under. If stress is bad for your health in your 30s, it’s magnified in your 60s. They have to preserve their health, and stress is working against this. It’s probably fire sale time. Sell everything for what ever it will bring in. If the net is positive, you have a nest egg, if it’s negative it’s probably time to file for bankruptcy (with no income they’ll never repay).

At a minimum, aim to wipe the slate clean, so that at least you can sleep at night and enjoy some stress free time. They probably can’t salvage retirement at this point, so once the slate is clean and the debts are gone–one way or the other–they’ll have to map out a very different looking ‘golden age’ than what they were planning. Life isn’t hopeless because you’re finances tanked, they can still find happiness. Now would be a stellar time to enter a faith walk, if they haven’t already, to begin new careers, and to draw closer to family and friends, rather than moving away.
.-= Kevin@OutOfYourRut´s last blog ..Secret Life of the American Teenager ““ Exactly What is the Message? =-.

By: Ethan

Ethan — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 04:28:14 +0000

Although I can’t say I’ve endured a comparable situation, I’ve certainly had some disappointing financial results of my own. One of the things that helped me with the psychological side of it was, perhaps counter-intuitively, recognizing how much of my troubles were avoidable. Initially it feels good to blame someone else, but that is a short-lived feeling. It soon turns to despair, because ultimately it is very depressing if bad luck or the behavior of others can so easily destroy your dreams.

I recommend using this as an opportunity to learn what many of us have in this latest of many down financial cycles:

1. Never accept uncompensated risk – diversify, diversify, diversify.

2. Never over-extend yourself financially, not for the best deal in the world.

3. Your investments have to match your situation. If you need steady income from your portfolio, it must have a large fixed-income component.

Nothing (except maybe time) can restore the value of your assets. But acknowledging the impact of your past decisions *can* restore the feeling of controlling your own future. That sounds like it may be what your husband needs more than anything.

“The Successful Investor Today” by Larry Swedroe is a good place to go when you are tired of feeling like your destiny is controlled by others, or that you cannot take the stress of the market anymore, or that you are tired of gambling and losing. http://www.amazon.com/Successful-Investor-Today-Simple-Truths/dp/B001G8WPEY/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_4